


Wait for Me to Come Home

by reve_silencieux



Series: Once Upon Another Time [2]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7427989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reve_silencieux/pseuds/reve_silencieux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had managed to keep his two lives separate until now.  Sara finally experiences Neal's other life.  A timestamp to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6850855">Once Upon Another Time</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait for Me to Come Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a re-write of a fic I originally posted a year ago on LJ. After much discussion with Sheenianni about Neal's character in this AU, I decided to rewrite this fic. There was nothing wrong with it, per say, but I felt I needed to tweak certain things to make it more in line with the next fic in this series. Much of it IS new, however, so you'll want to read it before I post the next fic! (Which is complete, it just needs a fair amount of clean up.)
> 
> Title is from Ed Sheeran's song, _Photograph._

Life went on.

Neal returned to the breeding colony the day after New Year’s, and stepped back into his other life. Like flipping a switch, he went from Neal Caffrey, artist and normal guy, to Neal Bennett, breeder and government property. Everything was routine, and he did it without conscious thought. 

The apartment, while not home, was familiar and a haven despite the circumstances. With Mozzie’s help, he lugged all his stuff back in and looked around the small apartment, with the same boring furnishings and dreary walls he’d stared at for five years now. It was as if time had stopped, and the past three months never happened. Every time he came back, it seemed like he had just left, the break a figment of his imagination.

He went about unpacking and setting up his art supplies, then bid Mozzie adieu. There was snow in the forecast and Neal couldn’t blame him for wanting to get back to the city. He loved a good snow in New York, enjoying the view of a snow-covered city from his loft. Even though he had grown up in the suburbs of Virginia, the city had stolen his heart, and he missed the hustle and bustle. The soft white-blanketed campus lawns were no match for the simple beauty and peacefulness of Central Park with its skating rink and horse-drawn carriages, but Neal tried his best to appreciate the quiet of his second home.

Wanting to beat the snow himself, he made his way to the grocery store to stock up, only stopping to chat a moment or two with friends he passed. Later he found himself curled up on his couch with a book and a mug of hot tea.

It was all so normal. Only it wasn’t, not even close.

*~*~*~*

Neal was a people person. He had the uncanny ability to make friends with anyone, anywhere, and had used this to his advantage over the years. But when it came to the medical staff on campus, his charms went over like a lead balloon. They could care less about him, and he had grown used to the quiet, clinical and detached attitudes of both doctors and nurses.

Barbara Hayes was the exception. She actually saw breeders as human beings and made the effort to get to know them. A nurse who had grown tired of the frantic pace of the ER and the hospital environment, she had moved to Long Island for a slower pace a year ago. She genuinely cared, and Neal, likewise, made the effort to ask about her life. He’d learned long ago that the difference between being miserable and happy in this life was the people and friends that supported you through the tough times.

“How’s David? Is he getting excited about the baby?” he asked as he stepped onto the scale, carefully keeping his gown closed behind him. 

After settling down into a quieter life, Barbara and her husband had finally decided to start a family. It was later in life than most, but Neal knew they would make great parents. Hearing about their excitement actually made his part of the process easier, knowing someone was getting joy out of it. A small part of him hoped he’d get to feel the same way one day too.

“He is, although even more so now that we found out the sex.” She wrote down his weight on her clipboard and he stepped off.

Neal sat back down on the exam table, and the paper crinkled underneath him. “Oh? Boy or girl?”

“Boy!” She grinned.

“Congrats!”

She held the thermometer out and touched his forehead. “Thanks. Now comes the hard part — agreeing on a name.” It beeped and she walked back to the counter to jot his temp down.

He chuckled and moved his arm out for her to take his blood pressure when she returned to his side a moment later. “Good luck with that.”

“We’re definitely going to need it.” The cuff tightened around his arm. She glanced back at him. “So how was your break?”

Neal hesitated. He woke up this morning to an empty bed and wondered if it had all been a dream. “I met someone.”

Barbara’s eyes lit up. “Finally! I knew you were too good to pass up. What’s she like?”

While Mozzie had understood his self-imposed ban on dating, Barbara had encouraged him otherwise, and even joked about leaving her husband for him. She had pestered him often about opening himself up.

“Sara, she’s… wonderful.” He smiled softly. “Smart, strong, quick-witted, and gorgeous.” Thinking of their conversation the other night, he chuckled. “Not to mention stubborn,” he added.

Barbara laughed. “Well, we both know you needed someone to smack you over the head. She sounds perfect for you.” Pulling off the cuff, she paused and looked at him seriously. “She’s okay with it?”

That was the big question.

He shrugged. “She says she is, but I guess we’ll wait and see.”

She gave him a quick squeeze on his arm. “If she’s as smart as you say she is, then it won’t matter to her.”

“I hope so.”

*~*~*~*

If he was honest with himself, he knew he was the same person, but separating his two lives kept him sane. He wasn’t _just_ a breeder. Having a life apart from it was crucial, even if his only lifelines to the outside were Mozzie and his agent. But the three months he wasn’t here, he truly felt like himself. He lived those months without thinking about doctor’s appointments and morning sickness, instead he walked off campus and welcomed back Neal Caffrey.

All that was about to change. The moment Sara stepped into his apartment, that line would blur.

He would be Neal Caffrey, boyfriend, artist, and breeder. It unnerved him, and a part of him still wanted to keep her from this life. Memories of Kate lingered under the surface even after all this time, the pain raw and real. Sara’s calm and frank outlook was the only thing that allowed him to accept this new merging of lives. How it would play out was yet to be seen.

Would she, too, be uncomfortable around not just him, but other breeders? Or would she grow resentful at having to travel to see him?

Time would only tell, and as the week flew by, his apprehension heightened. The longer he put off the inevitable, the longer he kept those lives separate and reality at bay.

They talked one night though, and it was kept light and brief.

_“What are you plans for the weekend?” he asked._

_She was working long hours to catch up on work, and he knew she would be staying in New York. As much as it disappointed him, he understood and even felt somewhat relieved. Yet he felt bad for wanting to keep her away a little longer._

_“With my luck, combing through trash. What about you? Saturday’s the big day, right?”_

_He chuckled. “Sounds fun. But yes, and Mozzie’s going to come over Friday night.”_

_“You two aren’t going to get drunk in some kind of last night of freedom thing, are you?”_

_“Well, that’s the idea. It_ is _my last night as a single guy,” he joked._

_There was a pause, and he could picture her shaking her head. He then heard a soft laugh._

_“Cute. Just go easy on the alcohol, and keep your hands off Mozzie. I’m open to a lot of things, but I’m not willing to share.”_

_Neal grinned. “I’ll try my best.”_

It felt wrong, talking so intimately with her — with anyone, really — after he had stepped back into this life. As if he had broken a cardinal rule and the government would punish him for daring to try to have a normal life.

The rule-breaker in him laughed at the irony.

Falling back into his routines helped keep him occupied and push the doubts away. He went swimming and walked the campus, despite the cold and dreary weather, running into old friends and meeting new ones. After all, nothing had truly changed.

He was still a breeder. He still had to report to his appointment on Saturday and begin the cycle all over again. He still had seven years to go.

But now he had Sara.

When he let himself think of her, he smiled, remembering her infectious laugh and dry wit. It was actually easy to picture her lazing on his sofa and teasing him about his round belly and unsightly waddle. That made him breathe easier, knowing Sara was not Kate, and would see it as it was. There was no question that it wasn’t going to be easy, but he had never backed down from a challenge.

He could be Neal Caffrey _and_ a breeder. Who said he couldn’t?

*~*~*~*

Neal glanced up at the clock when the knock sounded on his front door. It was earlier than he had expected Mozzie to show up. He tended to wait until after rush hour to make the drive. A stray thought passed through his head, and he brightened, wondering if Sara had changed her mind and taken the train.

Mozzie would be put off by her presence, but Neal would enjoy the night considerably more. Wiping his hands on a towel, he crossed the apartment to answer the door.

However, his face fell when he opened it to find Mozzie on the other side.

Mozzie raised an eyebrow. “Expecting the fairer sex, were we?”

Neal’s shoulders dropped and he shook his head. “Hey, Moz.” He moved back, letting Mozzie in. “Sorry.”

“I thought she was working this weekend?”

Closing the door behind him, Neal followed Moz to the kitchen. “She is, but I hoped maybe she was done early or had changed her mind.”

Moz picked up the wine bottle sitting on the counter, and nodded appreciatively. “You know, just because she’s accepting the whole situation does not mean she’s going to live your life, Neal. She can’t just drop everything and come visit every weekend.”

“I know that, Moz.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “But it’s the last night, and… well…” he shrugged his shoulders.

Rolling his eyes, Moz leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “I’m sure you two _celebrated_ plenty already. Look, you had to return to reality eventually. Just give her time, and let her figure out how she wants to handle it. She said she was willing to visit often, right?”

Neal nodded.

“Then don’t pressure her, and at the same time, don’t get your hopes up. The more relaxed you are, the more she’ll feel comfortable coming over and less guilty when she can’t.”

Mozzie was right, he knew, as hard as it was to accept. Neal was used to getting people to do exactly what he wanted them to, whether it was leading them on or carefully steering them. But he could do neither with Sara.

In the past he had wondered if it would have gone differently with Kate had she managed to visit more frequently in the beginning. Would she have been more comfortable with the situation if she had been there as he progressed through the pregnancy? But then he reminded himself that she had bolted before he had even gotten that far along. It wouldn’t have mattered. She might have even left sooner.

It also wasn’t fair to compare Sara to Kate. Their situations were completely different. Sara was older, wiser, and so much stronger than Kate had been, fresh out of college. If Sara wanted to see him, he was going to let her see all of him, no holds barred. 

However, it was more than just his appearance that he worried about. How long until she tired of making the trip or got bored with his sedentary life? She could still leave and he wouldn't blame her. It would hurt — maybe more than it had with Kate, but he had to take the chance. A part of him, deep down, saw his future with her. 

That scared him.

Neal had never really looked ahead in his life, never made any plans since he knew exactly where he'd be. Thinking about a future — any future beyond breeding — was new for him. He lived very much day-to-day, cycle-to-cycle. His agent didn't even push him too much and June had kept an open door for him. Mozzie pressured him more than anyone else, and only because of his grand plans for Neal's breaks. And now that part of his life was over.

That didn’t mean he had to give in, and he couldn’t let it scare him. He _wanted_ this. 

Sara could be the one.

*~*~*~*

Neal could feel tension and excitement warring within him, and he had to force himself to be calm. He carefully stirred the sofrito, letting the spicy fragrance waft over him, and he took a deep breath. Glancing at the clock once more, then quickly chastising himself, he tried to focus on dinner, rather than Sara’s impending arrival.

He really had nothing to worry about. Tonight was going to be like any other night, he reminded himself. It was tomorrow, when he gave her the grand tour of the campus, that she would get her first taste of his life. But tonight, he just wanted to enjoy her company and not worry about the future.

Giving it one last stir, he moved to take the mussels out of the refrigerator. He set about making the broth with the mussels and shrimp shells he had reserved, and quietly hummed to himself, relaxing as he lost himself in the moment. Cooking always helped calm his mind and that’s exactly what he needed now.

The knock caught him by surprise, right as the water started to boil, and he quickly dumped the mussels in and set a timer. This was it.

He couldn’t help himself, smiling wide when he opened the door and laid eyes on her. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold, and her hazel eyes shone in the dim light of the apartment corridor. She was gorgeous.

“Hey there, stranger,” he teased.

She laughed softly. “Hey, yourself.”

They both leaned in, hugging each other, and when they broke apart, he dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. He then reached out for her carry-on. “Come on in and warm up.”

“You would not believe how much work I got done on the train. I swear, we should all have to disconnect from the internet and turn off our cell phones more often. We’d accomplish so much more if we didn’t spend so much time on conference calls.” She stopped in the middle of the living room, after having dropped her purse and shoulder bag next the door. Letting out a long-suffering sigh, she smiled at him. 

Neal couldn’t help but chuckle at the oddly happy but tired look on her face. He pushed aside the feelings of doubt. After all, this day had to come eventually. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist to give her a proper welcome, kissing her softly and slowly, as everything else faded into the background.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she rested her forehead against his. They stood there silently, breathing in unison, just holding each other.

This was all that mattered.

He ran his hands over her back slowly, the tips of his fingers lightly tracing a mindless picture, and felt her relax in his arms.

“So, I’m thinking it would be easier just to leave some clothes here,” she said, breaking the silence. “It was a pain dragging everything on the train.”

It was such a simple request, but it made him smile. “I think I can make some room — just as long as you don’t bring all your shoes.”

Sara slugged his arm and he laughed. She lifted her head and stared over his shoulder. “What do I smell?”

“Paella.”

"Seriously? Isn't that a lot of work?" She stepped back and started towards the kitchen. 

Neal followed and went straight to his fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine he had chilling. Just because he had to refrain, didn’t mean Sara had to as well. “It’s not that bad. I was in the mood for seafood. My last cycle, the smell made me gag and I couldn’t touch it.” He placed the wine on the counter and went for the corkscrew.

She started opening cabinets without comment, and quickly found the glasses, pulling two out. "Does that always happen?"

"Yes, but not always the same food. My first cycle I couldn't stand the smell of beef. It was tomatoes during my second — which was a nightmare."

Sara nodded. "I bet. I can't imagine dealing with that.” She picked up a glass. “Water?”

"Yes, please.” He pulled out the cork with a loud pop. “It is one of the more annoying aspects, but I deal,” he acknowledged, as he poured wine into her glass. “Although if you were to ask some of my friends, they might disagree. Susana was so sick once, she couldn’t handle any food smells, and could barely eat anything. Jamie couldn't tolerate chocolate last year and nearly went crazy."

Sara’s face blanched. "Oh, that's horrible.” She stopped and seemed to reconsider her words. “I meant, not being able to eat anything — not just the chocolate.”

He chuckled. "Don’t worry, I know what you meant, even though I'm well aware of your love for chocolate."

“Well, here's hoping it's nothing that bad this time,” she said, holding up her glass.

Neal smiled and clinked his glass against hers. “Let’s hope.”

*~*~*~*

Sara arrived on his doorstep the next week and literally pushed a banker’s box at him while she dragged in a large suitcase.

“What’s this?”

“Work. Up for a challenge?” she replied brightly, breezing by him.

Neal shook his head and laughed. Why had he worried so much?

*~*~*~*

“Cinco.”

Neal blinked and looked down at her. “Excuse me?” Sara was curled up next to him, the sheets draped over them in a tangled mess, and she was trailing her fingers lightly over his stomach.

“We should call it ‘Cinco.’ Otherwise we’ll keep tripping over ‘he’ and ‘she’ and ‘it,’ and I don’t know about you, but that’s going to get old.”

He chuckled. “Because it’s number five. Sure, it’s as good as anything, I guess.”

Sara continued to surprise him. Over the past couple of months, he’d had to deal with morning sickness, fatigue and hormones that made his moods swing like a chandelier. While it wasn’t anything new for him, she had weathered it like a pro.

She didn’t come over every weekend, which admittedly had probably been a good thing given his current state. Even Mozzie avoided him at the beginning. But at the same time, he was still waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

He was only now starting to show, although it was just the slightest pooch of his stomach—nothing to scare her off just yet. In a few months’ time, that would be another matter. For now, he was going to enjoy the return of his energy and appetite, and Sara by his side.

It would almost be normal.

However, like his never-ending hormone swings, Neal found himself wavering between being optimistic and realistic. Most normal relationships never lasted, how could theirs hope to? This relationship took a lot more commitment than a normal one.

But Sara wasn’t backing down, and she didn’t shy away from anything. Neither would he.

Smiling, he picked up her hand and interlocked his fingers with hers. He wasn’t giving up. Not yet. They were only getting started.

*~*~*~*

Sara was exhausted. Bone weary, dead on her feet exhausted.

Her flight had landed at midnight due to delays, and by the time she got off, picked up her luggage and made her way to the taxi stand, she was ready to collapse. Even though she’d been sitting for the past twelve hours, she sank gratefully into the worn seat of the cab and leaned her head back, closing her eyes. Right now, all she wanted was her bed and the possibility of sleeping ten straight hours.

“Where to?”

She cracked an eye open and looked at the driver, who stared back, waiting for a response. She blinked, a different bed suddenly coming to mind, and smiled.

An hour later the cab dropped her off, and she walked to Neal’s apartment, dragging her suitcase behind her. Thankful for the key he’d given her a couple of months ago, she let herself in quietly and listened to make sure she hadn’t woken him up. She didn’t bother with her suitcase, leaving it by the door, but kicked off her heels and tucked them out of the way. 

Padding softly into his room, she let her eyes roam over him, taking in the small tuft of hair wildly out of place — a far cry from his normally coiffed hair, and the slack of his jaw as he faintly snored. He was so cute asleep.

She was happy to finally be home. The recovery should not have taken this long. A month ago, she’d left for what she’d thought would be a quick trip to Los Angeles. They had just celebrated Neal's birthday, the snow was melting, and he was getting his energy back. However, she’d ended up chasing her guy and several rumors up and down the coast of California. Between the time zone difference and her work, she'd only had a few short calls with Neal.

It had been hard, and Sara realized how much she had come to _want_ to be with him. That had been an eye opener. She'd never been the type to be clingy or need to spend all her free time with a guy.

But if felt natural to call him after a long day at the office or spend all weekend curled up in bed with him. Which was why she’d changed her mind in the taxi and put off going back to her place.

So, taking one last glance at Neal's slumbering form, she opened the dresser carefully, pulled out clothes, and tiptoed into the bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and changed quickly, before making her way back to the bed and slipping under the covers.

Turning over, she stared at him and gently brushed an errant strand of hair off his forehead. She'd missed him. More than she had thought she would. Work wasn't the most important thing in her life anymore.

She could live with that.

*~*~*~*

When she woke up the next morning, Neal was sitting up in bed reading a book, and despite the closed blinds, the room was bright and the sun was streaming in. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand and gaped openly. _Noon?!_ She hadn't slept that late since college. Her body probably still thought it was on west coast time, she figured.

"Good morning."

She looked up and rubbed her eyes wearily. He smiled down at her and dropped the book in his lap. "I was afraid you were going to sleep the whole day. But since you didn't set the alarm, I figured you could use the sleep."

Yawning, she nodded then snuggled closer to him. "I typed up my report on the plane and emailed it when I got to New York last night. I'm not going in today."

He ran a hand gently through her hair and she sighed contently as he massaged her scalp and moved down her neck. Yep, she'd made the right choice.

"How about some breakfast then? I made your favorite lemon poppyseed muffins this morning."

She closed her eyes and smiled. "Sounds perfect. Coffee?"

"Coming right up." He dropped a kiss on her forehead and slid out of bed.

Sara contemplated getting up, but the bed was warm and she really didn't want to move. She snuggled further into the blankets and nearly drifted back to sleep. But a few minutes later she felt the bed shift and opened her eyes once more. Neal sat on the edge, holding a mug of steaming coffee and a plate with two muffins.

Okay, she could probably move just a little. 

She pushed herself up and scooted over to give him more room. Taking the mug, she inhaled the blessed aroma and gratefully took a long drink. "Oh, I missed this. Coffee on the road is the worst."

He chuckled. "Well, there's plenty more where that came from."

Sara grinned, then plucked a muffin off the plate. "Oh, I intend to take full advantage of it. I don't think I'm going to leave this bed for the next week." Taking a bite, she wanted to hum in pleasure. Neal’s muffins sure beat hotel breakfasts, too.

"A week?"

She nodded and swallowed. "Yep. I'm taking it off. No work for me.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Think you can handle having me around that long?"

Neal took her mug without a word and reached around her to place it on the nightstand. Then, he leaned in, cradling her cheek, and kissed her softly. "There's nothing I want more."

"Good to know.” She gave him a coy smile. “I was hoping that I hadn't been gone so long that you were used to my absence.”

"Impossible."

"I'm sorry I couldn't fly back. It was crazy, and even if I could take off a weekend, I would have just been flying right back and it—”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, smiling. “I understood. Stuff like this comes up — you can’t help it.”

She bit her lip and frowned. Her last relationship hadn’t lasted because of her hours with her job, but Sara acknowledged that she had made more of an effort with Neal. Granted, only someone like Neal could truly appreciate her job. It was irony at its finest.

But for as much as she loved her job, she was finally starting to realize she was happy _outside_ of it. The fact that her trip had taken so long, and that she’d barely had time to talk with Neal during it, had made it harder and less satisfying in the end. Neal had seemed to take it okay, but she knew he'd been disappointed to lose out on what he said was one of the best months of his pregnancy.

Sara also knew he was still worried that she couldn't handle it and would leave. Yes, she had to admit it had been weird to watch her boyfriend have morning sickness and hormone swings. To his credit, Neal took it (mostly) without complaint — more than she could say about other men she knew. Heck, she doubted she could handle it all that well, either.

None of it took anything away from _him_ , though, and that’s what mattered most. 

“Well, maybe we need to make up for lost time, then,” she replied, a smile stretching across her face.

The worst might be yet to come, but she figured everyone had their ups and downs in a relationship. If she hadn’t thought she could handle it, then she wouldn’t have made the commitment in the first place.

She moved her plate to the nightstand. “I’m not particularly wanting to leave this bed any time soon,” she added with a wink and sat up, pulling her nightgown over her head.

Neal’s eyes darkened. “It has been a long time,” he agreed, grinning, and pulled off his own t-shirt.

“I thought you’d see it my way.”

Would they be strong enough to last? Sara couldn’t answer that, but she wasn't backing down from this or leaving him. That wasn’t who she was. In fact, it just made her want it more. She saw it as a challenge, and everyone knew Sara Ellis loved a challenge.

She just needed to show him that she was sticking around, no matter what.

*~*~*~*

Sara’s breathing evened out and she rested with her eyes closed, feeling the rise and fall of Neal’s chest beside her. She moved her hand over his, feeling the small bump of his abdomen. He tensed and she kissed the back of his shoulder softly. Earlier, he had been clearly nervous about her seeing him, but she had just lavished him with kisses and softly caressed this new part of him. She didn’t see the baby when she looked at him, only _Neal_.

None of it really mattered, not to her, much to her own surprise. Logically, she knew it should, yet right now she was content just spending this time with him. Would it get uncomfortable in the future? Probably. But she didn’t care.

Weaving their fingers together, she squeezed his hand. “Stop worrying. I’m not going anywhere.”

He turned over, and she cracked open an eye sleepily. He stared at her, his eyes searching. She said nothing, and after what felt like forever, he took a deep breath and his voice was low and raw as he finally responded.

“I love you.”

There was a pause as he watched her, and she felt her heart race. “I love you, too,” she replied without hesitation, feeling calm even as the words escaped her mouth for the first time. Because it was the truth and suddenly she couldn’t see herself anywhere else ever again.


End file.
